called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
even my farts smell like vagina
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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