Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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