my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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