so that wasnt chicken after all
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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