Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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