she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
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