I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
