What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize