Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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