We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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