can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
