dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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