i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize