I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
