Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Randomize
