I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
