if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize