i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
