good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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