she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
