So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
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