Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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