someone owes me an orgasm
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
