he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
