I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize