I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize