what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
