i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
40s are totally the cure
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
