I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
This is my gift to your gina
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
