either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize