The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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