TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
God, I missed his penis.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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