Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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