I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
