3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
