I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize