Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
