Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
