i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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