I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
