Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
