I feel great
I just peed on a car
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
