How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
