idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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