Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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