There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
