I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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