weddingsv make me drug and hornr
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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