they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
