I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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