I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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