This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
