sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize