that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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