There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
