Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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