Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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