I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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