She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
