STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
