And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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