I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
