Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
