I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
