You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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