I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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