I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Bring me that man meat
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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